Friday, June 27, 2003

Peaceful Non-Existence Watch

You would think a German publication such as Der Spiegel would be a tad more sensitive when interviewing an anti-Semitic fascist in its pages.

Instead, our old Euro comrades give Hamas leader Mahmud al-Sahar the benefit of the doubt regarding the death cult's suicide murder "operations."

SPIEGEL: The week before last, your associate Rantissi barely escaped an Israeli rocket attack. Do you also fear for your life?

Sahar: Fear is paralyzing. That's why such feelings are the wrong reaction in the current situation.

SPIEGEL: Prime Minister Ariel Sharon has threatened to hunt down all terrorists. And you are at the very top of the list of prominent targets.

Sahar: We take precautions, of course. But the Israelis have targeted all Palestinians. During the past few weeks, more than 50 people have died here in the Gaza Strip, and more than half were women and children. That is the goal of the Zionists: To break our backbones with violence.

SPIEGEL: Your approach is no less violent. Your suicide bombers are spreading fear and dread. Has this bloody strategy been worth it for the Palestinians?

Sahar: At least we have achieved one thing: No one in Israel can feel safe anymore, whether in Jerusalem, Haifa, Tel Aviv, or Jaffa. In the past, Israel usually conducted its wars at its borders. Now, for the first time, there is fighting in the interior, in the heart of the country.

Charming. "No less violent." How very enlightened.

So the "Zionists" want to conquer all of what . . . Jordan? the Arabian peninsula? the entire Muslim world? Why haven't they done it already? After all, they face no real military opposition.

And what is Hamas' goal? Why, to end the "occupation" of course.

Sahar:The goal is not to kill. We are human beings, we have wives and children. We want a life with dignity and national independence, the end of the occupation.

Simple right? If Israel withdraws from the "occupied" lands and there will be peace.

Yes, except that Hamas believes all of Israel is occupied land!

Need proof? Listen as our bloodthirsty friend discusses a possible ceasefire with Israel.

SPIEGEL: Abbas wants there to be only one Palestinian military organization in the future, the state security forces. Is that acceptable to Hamas?

Sahar: Not as long as the occupation continues.

SPIEGEL: Could there be a civil war if the Prime Minister insists on disarmament?

Sahar: Suppressing Hamas, as Yassir Arafat tried to do six years ago, is impossible. The Autonomous Authority will not even be capable of playing the Israelis' dirty game.

SPIEGEL: That sounds like confrontation. Nonetheless, your organization is also discussing a cease-fire.

Sahar: Such a step could only be considered after the Israeli troops withdraw from the Gaza Strip and the West Bank. Then we could negotiate a cease-fire, provided it is based on mutual interests.

So withdrawing from Gaza and the West Bank wins Israel a temporary cease-fire with Hamas.

But only after Israel withdraws from the Earth itself will Hamas stop murdering its citizens.

That simplifies things.

Friday, June 20, 2003

I Always Knew I Liked Australians

And now I know why.

Moron, Islamofascist, Kleptocrat Dr Mahathir Mohamad of the economically backward Malaysia demonstrated yesterday why his sober statesmanship will be missed:

"Australians, and their European brethren, are a greedy, war-mongering mob who promote free sex and sodomy, are indifferent to incest and want to conquer the world.

Good luck in your well deserved obscurity!

Thursday, June 19, 2003

French Ask UN for "License to Kill"

The French commander of the United Nations special emergency forces in Congo says he needs a “license to kill” if the forces are ever to bring peace and counter the guerrocracy now ruling the region.

Currently, the UN troops are deployed under a Chapter 6 mandate that allows them only to fire in self-defense. A Chapter 7 mandate from the Security Council presumably would allow them to kill people more arbitrarily.

So how’s it going?
Fighters, many of them children, from the Hema faction that controls Bunia still swagger through the town or zoom around in pickups, with Kalashnikov assault rifles slung over their shoulders.

UN officials say the security situation in Bunia has deteriorated since June 8, two days after the first French forces arrived, with reports of abductions, killings and rape.

Hmmm, let’s recap here. French troops under the UN flag are helpless to stop armed children from kidnapping, killing and raping the citizens of Bunia. Indeed, their presence seems to have made the “security situation” worse.

Aside from the obvious fact that French troops under the UN flag seems as certain a formula for defeat as, say, Michael Dukakis coaching the Chicago Cubs . . . what's with the UN’s rather legalistic rules of engagement?

I wonder if a Chapter 8 Security Council mandate allows UN troops to actually mount a successful military operation.

A Chapter 9 mandate may be a victorious campaign complete with a humiliating peace treaty signing.

Chapter 10, I believe, refers to “Operation Grand Slam” by which the United Nations becomes an unstoppable military juggernaut crushing all opposition under its iron Gucci loafers and annexing sovereign territory at will.

Of course, a Chapter 6 mandate is deployment in a dangerous situation without any weapons at all and Chapter 5 is an airdrop of UN troops to be used as human shields against other UN troops with a better mandate.

Chapters 1 through 4 are written in French.

Friday, June 13, 2003

A Faster, Nimbler, More Effective French Army

France conducted war games involving a fictitious crisis in North Korea this week and used the occasion to debut its new elite military unit, the Force Capitulard d’Grande Vitesse, or FCGV.

Thursday, June 12, 2003

The Conspiracy Grows

The invasion of Iraq, as we all know, was based on the lie that peace-loving Saddam Hussein violated U.N. resolutions and threatened the security of his neighbors and the region by pursuing alleged weapons programs.

What I didn't realize until now was that even the French were in on the charade:

"What is at stake is how to answer the potential threat Iraq represents with the risk of proliferation of WMD. Baghdad's regime did use such weapons in the past. Today, a number of evidences may lead to think that, over the past four years, in the absence of international inspectors, this country has continued armament programs." -- Jacques Chirac, October 16, 2002

So cowboy Bush lied about WMD and his sidekick, Jacques, following right behind?

Boy, this conspiracy is getting complicated.

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

Peaceful Non-Existence Watch

From the Times:

"Of course the message is clear: all factions are working together to keep up resistance to the occupation," Dr. Abdel Aziz Rantisi, a Hamas leader, said in a telephone interview later today. "We refuse totally the Aqaba summit. It is a waste of our existence."

How candid. Violence is the whole point. Peace is contrary to the very existence of Hamas.

Just reminder to those who think that anything less than an ethnically-cleansed Israel via genocide will satisfy the Palestinian extremists.

Their roadmap to peace begins with a pitstop at Auschwitz.

Friday, June 06, 2003

One Less Sour Kraut

Swarmy German politician Jürgen Möllemann committed suicide today and managed to kill not only himself but also an investigation into the sources of funds he used to publish an anti-Semitic campaign pamphlet.

This morning Moellemann was tipped off that the Bundestag had stripped him of his immunity as a legislator and was about to launch a massive raid against him in 25 locations.

Rather than wait for the knock on the door, Möllemann went skydiving with some friends and took off his parachute mid-dive.

According to German law, criminal investigations can only be conducted against living people. I guess this means we may never find out who was funding Möllemann.

I wonder if it was the same people who financed Britain’s pro-Islamofacsist, anti-Israel, anti-American political fringie George Galloway?

For more on this unsavory Euro go to the Moellermann File.
“I Hate Her Guts”

Welcome to the nasty world of Shelly Finkel, Mike Tyson’s public relations counselor.

Wisely, she was unavailable for immediate comment on the Champ’s latest digression from her meticulously crafted talking points. Probably wearily mixing herself a stiff drink.

Another Reason to Not Take California Seriously

This classified ad:

WANTED: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. P.O. Box 322, Oakview, CA 93022. You’ll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

So the guy has already traveled into the past and he still has no money or extra weapons?

What a loser.

Thursday, June 05, 2003

Caroline Kennedy. Working Hard? Hardly Working.

What an odd article in this morning’s New York Times on Caroline Kennedy and her role as a chief fundraiser for the New York Department of Education.

She is charged with raising private funds for New York City's troubled public schools. Yet after eight months on the job and as the school year comes to a close, Kennedy has apparently raised not one thin dime.

the funny thing is that the Times can't bring itself to criticize Princess Caroline. The article insulates delicate readers from the uncomfortable fact of her incompetency with a froth of mundane filler about her footwear and fatuous alibis about her busy schedule.

She had to fly to Paris to open an exhibit at the Louvre, then she presented an award in Boston, and after that she had to attend the opening of the American Ballet Theatre. What she did for the other 240 days she’s held the job of Chief Executive of the Office of Strategic Partnerships is left to the imagination.

It takes the Times, 1700 words, two fawning photos and two bylined journalists to report that Kennedy “has yet to announce a single major donation.” She leads a staff of 15 and yet her ideas “have just barely been put on the drawing board.” Kennedy would not say how often she works at her office in the infamous Tweed Courthouse “or how many hours she spends on the job.”

According to one sycophant, Caroline Kennedy is “still putting her shop together . . . She has been bogged down in more nuts and bolts details.”

But that’s OK. She may not be effectual but “nor is she unapproachable” we are told.

“She rides the subway” and her colleagues were amazed to see on one of her rare ventures into the office that she “wore Merrell sports sandals, which have developed a cult following among outdoorsy types.”

The problem would seem to be that she is spending too much time outdoors instead of indoors on the job.

Of course, much of this could be said about me too. I’m not unapproachable. I ride the subway. I sometimes get bogged down in details. But I still manage to show up for work. And if I didn’t I would probably be reading the want ads in the Times rather than flattering coverage inthe Metropolitan section.

But then Ms. Kennedy is “a fixture in the American psyche” we are instructed. A psyche fixture “whose mere presence at events can make guests of a certain age tear up.”

My freshman year roommate was just that sort of “fixture” but you rarely read about him in the Times.

Still, a hint of skepticism tarnishes this otherwise pristine exercise in Kennidolitry. “Her daily activities and overall plans have largely remained a mystery” the article hints.

“There are a lot of glitzy things out there that someone with her profile could do,” said Joel Klein, the city’s education Chancellor. “This is not glitzy and it’s not about her profile. This is about serious work and her commitment.”

Serious work and commitment . . . well, that's two things one doesn’t naturally associate with the Kennedy clan.

Perhaps if her own children were trapped in a New York public school Caroline Kennedy might feel a bit more urgency about her responsibility. Hell, she might even take time out of her busy day to show up for work!