kerry and heinz kerry

Who Among Us Doesn’t Like Teresa Heinz Kerry?

Teresa Thierstein Simoes-Ferreira Heinz Kerry is certainly more interesting and affable than John Heinz Kerry and I enjoy hearing her unscripted remarks because they remind you how important it is to be scripted in a closely contested political campaign.

This is especially true if your actual views on the issues of the day are so infantile and far outside of the mainstream that they would alienate millions of voters if they were not deliberately concealed.

The New York Times takes a certain illicit pleasure in reporting TTSFHK’s more indulgent ramblings, perhaps because to a Timesman they sound like world-weary wisdom.

Case in point: the Heinz Kerrys were exploring remote and exotic Missouri yesterday when TTSFHK blessed the bewildered crowd of natives with her thoughts on national security policy:

"You cannot solve problems by throwing stones," she said. "And you cannot solve problems by telling lies. And you cannot solve problems by wishing ill to other people. The only way you solve problems is by holding hands and talking about it. And that's what we want to do in this campaign."

Well, she’s at least right about the futility of rock throwing. That’s why we have bullets. But really, the only way to solve problems is by holding hands and talking? My seven year couldn't have said it better.

I’m sure Teresa is a nice person and all but she’s no deep thinker even after compensating for the preposterous accent

Click here, listen to all the words and watch closely to find out what happens in the real world when all the talking is through.

i trust bush more

Bumper Sticker Politics

This week I drove through parts of Connecticut, New York, Nerw Jersey, and Pennsylvania and kept my eyes open for Bush and Kerry bumperstickers.

I was surprised to see only one Kerry bumper sticker on this little Blue State tour and that one was taped to the inside of the back window of a BMW – an embarrassingly tepid endorsement.

On the other hand I saw three cars with Bush stickers . . . one of which was plastered with them.

There were lots of generic “United We Stand” type messages and on “Dump Bush” message spotted on my six hour round trip.

Conclusion? Nothing scientific but I certainly expected to see more support for the Democratic candidate consider I was driving through three states where Kerry supposedly has an absolute lock on the vote.

Still, it’s pretty remarkable how such on unscientific survey could reflect what more rigorous public opinion research seems to indicate: that Democrats hate Bush more than they love Kerry and that Bush supporters are committed enough to their guy to deface their automobiles on his behalf.

What about the many generic stickers? I suspect those are the Bush supporters who are cowed by the pop culture BushHate® from coming out explicitly for W but will cast their vote for him when the curtain is closed.

I also had plenty of time to think of new bumper sticker slogans. The best one would be one which is positive, straightforward, and encouraging to undecided voters. Something like this perhaps:

This implies that John Kerry is honorable, patriotic and better able to lead our country in time of exitential challenge than almost any else, but the reason I support President Bush is because I trust him more than Kerry.

Inoffensive, realistic, and resonant with the concerns of people who are voting their hope not their hate.

Where's the Shrimp Vindaloo?

The John Kerry photo op at Wendy’s the other day was even more revealing than previously thought.

The Kerry-Edwards bus caravan stopped at a Wendy’s in Newburgh, New York to celebrate the Edwards’ wedding anniversary in the manner traditional to the Edwards family.

The Heinz-Kerrys had clearly never been in a Wendy’s before. John Kerry ordered a Frosty shake for lunch and Teresa Heinz-Kerry asked for the specials of the day and settled on a bowl of chili.

After some mock frivolity with the unwashed patrons and an oddly tense exchange with a table of Marines who supported President Bush, the entourage retreated back aboard the bus . . . photo-op complete.

So after pretending to mix it up with the regular folks what did the millionaire ticket really eat for lunch?

According to the Mid Hudson News, they ordered meals from Nikola’s Restaurant at the Newburgh Yacht Club.

"The gourmet meals to go included shrimp vindaloo, grilled diver sea scallops, prosciutto, wrapped stuffed chicken, and steak salad. The meals came to about $200."

I guess Edwards is right . . . there are two Americas.