Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Chavez Comes Clean

Hugo Chavez, Venezuela’s beloved would-be dictator of the proletariat, has taken a daring step back to the early 20th century by declaring his intention to nationalize key industries and muzzle opposition media outlets.

Little noted in the mainstream press is that he also declared himself a “Communist.”

Older folks may remember that communists were quite common in the last century. Sort of like fascists but with the best of intentions. The track record of communism is pretty dismal: millions dead, entire nations impoverished for generations, 7 hour speeches, ZIL limousines, drab clothing, awful music.

You might wonder why anyone would want to sign up for another dose of that. I can see what’s in it for Chavez. Unlimited power and wealth, the opportunity to pal around with Fidel and Noam Chomsky, the chance to design your own military uniform, standing ovations at the UN General Assembly.

But what about the people how have to support this guy for the next 35 years until he’s safely sealed in a glass mausoleum? I suspect they’ll continue on their dreary way and provide interesting backdrops for European tourists, or form long lines at the borders.

Venezuela will be a difficult country to wall off from the outside world. Long porous borders much unlike Cuba or North Korea. But there’s a prole ally to the West, Avo Morales of Bolivia, the man who’s done more to boost sweater sales than anyone since Bill Cosby. Expansion is clearly the way to go. Plus Chavez could link up with Daniel Ortega in Nicaragua and forge an Axis of Avo with Bolivia.

Sad times for our good neighbors to the South unless the clear-thinkers in Caracas, La Paz and Managua take matters into their own hands and turn the budding thug-ocracies in their midst into leftist martyrs like Allende.

That seems that’s the only way to make lasting progress in South America.

Until then, prepare for a whole lot more of this buffoon on your last remaining TV channel, comrades:

Rather convenient that there's a herd of bulls in close proximity.

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