Wednesday, April 30, 2003

Bush Bad. Kim Good, Gooood!

They say ignorance is bliss but you’d never know it from reading the New York Times letters section.

Today Mitchell Zimmerman emerges from the darkness of his cushion-walled cellar in Palo Alto to shake his fist at the unjust world and bravely go on the record as a defender of the benign Blofeld regime in Pyongyang:

President Bush's claim that North Korea has "threatened" the United States (front page, April 25) is an outrageous reversal of reality. It is Mr. Bush who has threatened North Korea, by asserting (without the tiniest shred of evidence) that North Korea was part of an "axis" that included Iraq, and then by invading Iraq in violation of international law.

Who can then be surprised that the North Koreans have decided that they need nuclear weapons — not to threaten the United States, but to deter the American threat of attack?

Once again, the world has become a more dangerous place, thanks to the cowboy antics of the Bush administration.

Everyone knows the Dear Leader is interested only in peaceful coexistence with his neighbors. And in order to learn more about these mysterious neighbors of his he has occasionally kidnapped them and kept them in specially built laboratories where they can be observed and dissected. Nothing wrong with that.

And yes, on occasion the regime has been caught smuggling tons of pure heroin or tactical missiles into other countries. But who doesn’t?

And sure, he once ordered that all triplets be murdered because he a had glimpsed the future and saw that he would one day face a rival who wore the number 3 prominently on his chest. Who’s to say he’s hallucinating?

That certainly doesn’t prove that North Korea is part on an “axis” of any sort. Why, them’s fightin’ words!

The only logical response to such an outrageously unfounded accusation is re-allocate all national resources away from food and medicine toward the construction of nuclear weapons and collossal heroic statues.

But wait a second. Didn’t North Korea start building nuclear weapons during the cowboy Clinton Administration?

And wasn’t this in response to the bellicose antics of that irresponsible cowgirl Madeleine Albright?

Indeed, did the regime deceive that ranting cow hustler Jimmy Carter when he personally threatened the peaceful Great Leader on a visit to the Magic Kingdom 12 years ago with his outrageously threatening wife, Rosalyn?

Why won’t the world just leave North Korea alone? Just think how much safer we would all be.

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