Natalie at PixelKitty has reacted far more positively to my description of Melbourne than I had initially feared. But she does have some corrections to make which I began to incorporate in my original posting but then decided that her version was far more worthwhile:
Just a couple of things, pedant that I am:
Proudly Reports - um no it was a little dig at the people who vote for these stupid things. I don’t like Melbourne. I'm not from Melbourne. I'm from Perth - the most remote capital city in the world - but at least we have sun, surf and no pokie machines. (Additionally, Perth came third in that stupid liveable city crap. Yay!)
Aussie - not ozzie
Qantas - no U its an acronym for Queensland And Northern Territory Airline Service Koala not koala bear - they are not bears, the vicious, stinking, rotten things
Crown Casino, one of the most appalling aberrations to ever foul the skyline, is one of about a dozen casinos in Australia. God knows why Melbourne needs one, considering you can use a pokie machine (one armed bandit?) in any pub, club or RSL. *shudder*
Flies - The One Armed Salute has been a well known Aussie term for over 80 years - it means to be waving those blasted flies away from your face. Something we have to do all the time in Australia. Melbourne has the least flies of any capital city bar Hobart, that's worth remembering.
Bats - there aren't any. They are in fact Flying Foxes, a type of winged possum almost. They have pouches for their young. Its sad that they are reduced to living in the Botanical Gardens, given that we have destroyed all of their natural habitat.
Weather - the weather in Melbourne sucks, it’s the only way to put it. Freezing cold and wet for 5 months of the year, 30-45 Celsius plus for the rest, with the ability to have every temperature between -5 and 35 in one day, along with wind, rain, sleet, sunstroke and heat exhaustion.
Flying Foxes?? Perhaps this is what Prince Charles had in mind when he threatened to leave Britain forever.